RESULTS?????????????????????????

Last week unfortunately was a hard one for me personally. I had failed in my first year final exams at University and will have to be sitting in for a resit in July. While it was a hard time, I remembered during those times that Ibn al-Jawzi used to say that the believer sees signs in everything that he comes across in his life. Having a hard time to get over it, I reflected upon the situation at hand, and thought to myself about a test I am already taking every single day of my life, and the result if bad will never allow me to have a resit!
I firmly remember being in the lab being a “subject” for my lab partners as they were measuring my blood pressure and heart rate when someone exclaimed, “the results are out!” Immediately my heart starting throbbing and my friends taking my blood pressure were saying that it had risen abnormaly! Indeed, there will be a time when another results day will be announced, and Allah records that “On the Day the blast [of the Horn] will convulse [creation]. There will follow it the subsequent [one]. Hearts, that Day, will tremble, their eyes humbled.”[1] Heart trembling, I told my friends that I had to have a look at the results or else I just couldn’t take it anymore. As I went down the list of candidate numbers to mine I kept remembering every one of those nights that I had wasted doing something other than studying, all that time I had not utilized to pass through the exam. Indeed there will be a time like this my brothers and sisters when we may regret as well and look back on our life of this world feeling utterly stupid and helpless and as Allah proclaims, “The Day when man will remember that for which he strove”[2]. As I scrolled down and saw that in one subject I had failed, my heart sank. Memories flooded back of the “good times” with friends that went wasted, and I felt down, depressed and as if my life had just been ruined. Indeed what if this was my case on the Day when there will be no chance of fixing the situation? We will also be given our results “And the record [of deeds] will be placed [open], and you will see the criminals fearful of that within it, and they will say, “Oh, woe to us! What is this book that leaves nothing small or great except that it has enumerated it?” And they will find what they did present [before them].”[3]
Subhan Allah!
Just like I was going through every single moment regretful and full of remorse, I might just be doing that on the Day when my book is given. And indeed “as for he who is given his record behind his back. He will cry out for destruction and [enter to] burn in a Blaze. Indeed, he had [once] been among his people in happiness; Indeed, he had thought he would never return [to God]. But yes! Indeed, his Lord was ever, of him, Seeing.”[4] There is indeed no place of refuge except with Allah.
While I was procrastinating and wasting time during my preparations for the exam I thought, “Oh well there is still time”, and similarly when I procrastinate about getting to turn to Allah I say, “Oh well someday” but whether you and I like it or not, “O mankind, indeed you are laboring toward your Lord with [great] exertion and will meet it.”[5] While I may be trying to think there is still time, it just might not be enough. I had done my best during the last few days but it just didn’t help did it? Because I had plenty more time that I wasted. Oh my brothers and sisters who think that turning around later in your life may help, look at my situation in an exam of this world. Do you think after all that wasteful time a couple of days of great exertion would actually save you and I from the terrible punishment? NO! Turn back today while there is still time so that maybe we will be among the “faces, that Day, will show pleasure. With their efforts [they are] satisfied. In an elevated garden, wherein they will hear no unsuitable speech. Within it is a flowing spring. Within it are couches raised high and cups put in place and cushions lined up and carpets spread around.”[6]
I called my mother afterwards and she was sad and angry. I felt so terrible that I wished I did not exist. How much could I have hurt and angered my mother. Yet, I wondered what would I do if I would have angered the Lord of my mother? The Lord who has bestowed so much on me and I had put it all to waste? I would surely be saying as Allah records it, “Oh, I wish that I were dust!”[7]
This was just a reminder for myself first and then to others for Allah has commanded “So remind, if the reminder should benefit”[8] and also “So remind, [O Muhammad]; you are only a reminder”[9].
[1] Quran, Surah Naziat Ch-79 V- 6-9
[2] Quran, Surah Naziat Ch-79 V- 35
[3] Quran, Surah Kahf Ch-18 V- 49
[4] Quran, Surah Inshiqaq Ch-84 V- 10-15
[5] Quran, Surah Inshiqaq Ch-84 V- 6
[6] Quran, Surah Ghaashiyah Ch-88 V- 8-16
[7] Quran, Surah Naba Ch-78 V-40
[8] Quran, Surah A’laa Ch-87 V-9
[9] Quran, Surah Ghaashiyah Ch-88 V-21